Sifting Thru The Ashes of Creativity

I really believe that my best times to create something of any kind, is when my mind has time to wonder.  I am never bored, however when I have time to "not think" about what I have to do, or be clocked in on someone else's time or someone else's dreams, I get creative on my own.   When I am busy with routine or making money, my creativity takes a back burner and simmers. Sometimes the flame goes out and I loose the thought forever.  I'm not talking one thing here; I mean a plethora of self induced projects that interest me.  Be it writing music, making a mess out of plaster and color, refinishing something that someone threw out cause they thought it was useless, those are my creations. When I am tired or just fried from thinking about other people's needs or activities, I end up dry.  I think being creative breeds creativity in ones self.  If you start to make something after being dormant for a while, the first one to three, kind of lack perfection because of the garbage you have to sift thru just to get to the point of familiar once again with your own abilities. Once that is out of the way, you start to gain ground and then you get in your comfort zone, that euphoria of undisturbed dedication where you forget to track your time, forget to eat, your fingers bleed or you snap at outside interruptions if they come into your consciousness.  Sounds like turning into an asshole eh…. Well, it happens.

I think some people create crap and never get better because they stop after the first or second failure in their own eyes.  Hence the never getting familiar with your own ability and improve on it.  So many people never get to the part where it starts to mesh all by itself with your own efforts, because they give up or get lazy.  I am guilty on that in a few areas.  The areas I got lucky on though… I still cling to. I feel the need coming on to hibernate and shut off the phone, shut down the computer, grab an instrument and plug in to another world that has been waiting for me for some time now.  Not quite there yet, soon I will see if I can open that door again, get past the first batch of shit and get to…. Where I need to be for a while to remember who I am.  Tune it or die.