WashedUp Sideway Does "Bad Things" in Second Life

Main Attraction

     I don't believe that just because you are married you have to close your eyes and dwell on only one person. I'm not talking swinging, or anything like that. I am talking about personal opinion and attractions.  I have always said… I'm married, not dead.

   The day you cannot voice or notice another creature that you are visually drawn to, you might as well put the first shovel of dirt on.  I wrote it in a song a long time ago…. Being married and looking at the opposite sex is like walking by a bakery… you can smell the aroma, you can look in the window, you can dream… but you don't have to go in and buy a cream filled long John.  Just be happy with the view, the smell. And go home and take a bite out of your own Danish… Just thank God you are alive and able to still smell the aroma of your own free will.  You don't have to abuse it. Appreciation is not obsession or abuse… it is simply something you are attracted to.  In its place, it is just fine. So with that all out of the way you can go back to thinking I'm a deviant old lady. I have morals after all…. They are low, but I have them. lol.

    I think the sexiest thing when looking upon a male is the arms. I'm drawn to them. Always have been. I'm not talking major body building here, just toned arms for the physique of the individual. Small or large, a toned arm does it every time.  I also find that laid back is an attraction.  Not to be confused with lazy. I can't stand lazy. I do however like a mellow man who does not get bent out of shape over the little things in life. ( I happen to have gotten lucky and found one like that).   A smile is important to me as well, but I find that it does not have to be done with lips and teeth.  A man who can smile with his eyes is very very attractive, the lips just follow suit after that.  The ability to flirt and confidence is also good.  The knowledge when to stop is also very much a turn on.

I am drawn to the bad boy.. I think every female is to some degree. But that is also short lived with me. There are short term attractions and long term ones. The short term ones are found in the bakery of life.. the long term takes you back to that eyes smile thing.  I don't limit myself to just oggeling people in my age bracket.  If I'm gonna oggal, I'm gonna open the audition to all.   I have some very "thick" people that I find attractive along with a few "toothpicks" with feet that have surprisingly gotten my lustful appreciation over time.  I have always been drawn to dark haired men. Height, not so important, after all I'm only viewing.  There are a few things I would take into consideration if I were shopping for a companion that turned me on, but like I said, I'm just enjoying the view.

I don't mean to sound picky, but the older I get the less there 

I have broadened my preferences over the years. When I was younger I had an image and would look for people that fit the mould. Now… I have learned to look for what is attractive in  the individual persons.  Much more of a challenge but more realistic than the romance book cover guy that you will never find.    I did find someone long ago that is still very much in my life.  He fit the bill for the romance cover…, he has arms that still turn me on after 30 years, he has dark hair.. or had I should say, had, it is black & white now, he does not allow bullshit in his life, which in turn keeps it out of mine.  He did not get fat, he did not get lazy. As a matter of fact, I can't keep up with the man, his to do list is gonna take years to get done and it is not because he puts it off, it is cause it is THAT long.  Even with finding him, I did not die when I said I do.  He is not offended when I appreciate someone. I can voice it if I like. He is not threatened or offended if I tell him.  It is not like I throw it out there all the time and tell him every time someone catches my eye either. But if I feel like saying WOW.. now that guy is nice looking. He would understand the statement without thinking it was a slam against him in any way, simply appriciation for the view. (btw, a spouse constantly doing that would be concidered a shithead in my book & that is not what this is about).

There is something wrong in a relationship that would limit you to keep your own opinion about something as simple as looking at someone of the opposite sex to yourself or suffer the consequences.  Being secure in a relationship is a major turn on. Not taking it for granted, but knowing that you can speak your mind without an argument, just knowledge of the facts or preference. Honesty is a turn on. Having someone really KNOW you and getting it right, is a turn on.  Getting to know someone and paying attention is a turn on.  You can tell when someone is really "into you".  They take the time and don't blow things off.  That is a turn on and it is different than obsession.

Protection is a turn on. No forced or staged, but when someone goes out on a limb to protect you when it is needed.  I can go on and on here, there are so many things we are all given to look for in another for appreciation.    Don't sweat the small stuff unless you are looking at long term.  If you are just looking and not planning on buying the donut.. then it doesn't matter if he snores, or picks his teeth, cause you are just looking at his arms and his charm.  You don't have to wash his socks!   Now… beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I prefer someone that I can leave the lights on with,  and if they screw up really bad, it is nice to be able to look at em on the pillow next to you and NOT want to throw them out of bed.    So…. What do you appreciate? What turns you on about physical attractions on other people?  Open your mind, talk like you are not married, talk like you are, it is your opinion I'm not asking a couples, just individuals with a preference.

Have a great day, I'm gonna hang out by the bakery.

Control & Change

     The older I get the more I can relate to a line that George Harrison wrote in a song. "The farther one travels, the less one knows". With a bit of a twist, that applys to everything. The more you grow the more you realize that you know nothing. There are too many things to absorb in this life and we are masters of none. As a self admitted semi control freak, there are things that I have to let slide. Some people say that change is good. I say SOME change is good. It is not a blanket statement. Not all change is wanted. Not all lables are acurate.
I may not be in control of what I have to do on a daily basis... but I am in control of how I do it. If it is not working, change it. If you can't change what you have to do, then change how you do it.
I think everyone is a bit of a control freak, if you think you are not, you are not being true to yourself. Everyone likes to make their own choices. That is the reason I got the lable,... how bout you? Because I am not shy, because I have an opinion about most everything and usualy voice it... to some that means control freak. I think it means sticking up for oneself and ones morals and ideals to the effect of not letting things walk all over you.
If someone thinks that they just got away with something where I am concerned... rest assured it is not exactly that cut and dried. I am more than aware of any situation. I analize things to death. How could I not be "aware" of things then I think of everything from at least four angles lol.
Someone labled me a passive agressive person... hmmmm. Nice politicaly correct term... however just another lable. Enabler is another one that was tacked on... well. Just cause you say it four times does not make it so!
If I am aware of someone with a problem and I can make a difference, that does not always mean enabler to me. It means I care enough to offer a choice if I can. I may care more about the person than the problem at hand. I pick and choose the problems I offer assistance to.... to blanket it is wrong, I pick my battles and I also stand back on more issues than you might witness.
I can not change anybody, they have to learn on their own. Just because I may think I know how to fix things or know a way to avoid some future problem, does not mean it is going to work for anyone else. They have to make their own mistakes. If I can offer a light in the dark.. I will. Doesn't mean I am in control of their mistakes or their problem.... it is not my problem. I know the difference.
I never want to get to the point in life where I feel I have been burned by people so many times that I get jaded, hard, and assume the worst in all things. I am in control of my kindness and selective where it gets put. Don't confuse my silence in a situation with passive. It means I care more about the person and the feelings of the moment, more than I care about the issues at hand. I am spareing you a lecture that I have in my head or don't think you would understand it nor could I deliver it without offending. Contrary to what you may think, I don't have to drive my point home, it is important to me.. probably not the other person, their mind is too crowded already at that point.
We are all in control of what we think. We can change for the better or for the worse. I am sure we all do a bit of both, better or worse.
When your life changes, I hope it never changes to the point where you loose your ability to see humor and laugh...
When you loose control, remember that you and only you, are in control of changeing yourself.
You can't control your friends, your job, your family, your remote (if you have a husband)....the good new is, the list of what you can't control is shorter than the list that you can control on a personal level.

Clairede Dirval at High Spirits,The Spirit of Canada

Check out music from Greyson Schulz

Did You Know

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33 and she would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
The average life span of a major league baseball is 7 pitches.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left-handed.
"TYPEWRITER" is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
Almost everyone who reads this page will try to lick their elbow.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand; lollipop" with your right.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: "The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
You did try to lick your elbow, didn't you?

The Tramp

Everyone sees things so differently as time goes on. I admit to my share of parties & sometimes it takes four sides to every story to get the real one. However, the person on the other end of the phone remembers things that he saw while looking thru a glass.  A whiskey glass; from the inside out.  For the most part, he remembers things very well. Just once in a while his clouded whiskey laden thoughts have added or forgotten something important to the memory.  The thing is… we still laugh, and smile at the memories no matter who reminds who of what happened next.  Tramp is a drummer. Tramp is my friend. Tramp is a drinker.  There are many dark areas to cover & a history with this person that made us who we are to each other.  First off, you have to care or you walk away from it because it is just too hard to deal with if it is not your problem.  The other side of the coin is when you don't walk away & history is made; the show must go on. 

My husband and I went on an adventure. We had been a fairly successful three-piece weekend band at the time. I had gotten sick, recovered and did not want to stay where we were for ever and die there without ever doing "something".  We decided to change our world & head out west on road construction for a big change & see what life together could hold. Our drummer Kahuna "Jessie's dad", had just moved to Arizona with his family. There was nothing to hold us there anymore.  We bought a camper, loaded up the dog & all the band gear in the van "just in case", and took off with no looking back.  Rog had landed a job working construction in the daytime. We had weekends free so I started to look for a wondering available drummer.  I found the first one in a laundry mat, it worked out really well. The drummer & lead man's front man who played base took off for Alaska, left them with gigs and no way to play them. We stepped in and took over with them. That lasted three months. We then relocated to another area with the construction.  It was a centennial year for many little towns in the area we landed in.  Turns out that the band that had booked all the street dances was not able to do over half of them that summer due to whatever reason.  We were at the right place at the right time. I got phone call after phone call & I took all the jobs I could. We had a full schedule, & now I needed to find a drummer. Someone in a music store had given me a number for two brothers that played drums. He said one or the other should be available.  I dialed, & that is when I met Tramp.    Our first gig was in the back of a feed store! We were not the first band they had there. It was in the middle of nowhere, but the place was packed.  I told Tramp what the job paid & when it was. He said count me in. I'll be there. 

No pre meeting, just the gig.  He was known as a shotgun. Which back then it meant he was able to fill in for anyone at the drop of a hat & nobody would know he was a sub. He was a month younger than me, we had the same music back ground, but his was a bit more pointed at southern rock at the time. Which is something he opened the door on for me.  I thought he was quite a handsome guy. Over six foot tall, dark hair, nice smile, & brought his wife with him.  She & I grew to be friends. She was part of the package that was an extra gift in life, she is still dear to me today.  His drums…… ok. Here is where it gets strange. Most drummers take pride in their instruments. Tramp had not been rolling in the money at the time & was using a beginner set that he had held together with bailing wire and duct tape.  It was a sparkly red & blue set that he dwarfed with his long legs.   I asked him if it was his good luck trap kit & couldn't he stand to part with it… he said. "phuuuuuck no". "I played on better, but don't let the kit fool ya, if a drummer is any good he can make a trash can sing."

   My instrument snobbery soon vanished.  The very first song out, I gave him the name of the song & said, do you know it.   He said. " hell no, never heard of it, but it don't matter, Hook it darlin".  I told him it was a shuffle, and counted it in.  The boy could play.  I didn't tell him anything from that point on, just if it was a straight four, waltz, swing, or whatever.  It was spot on every time.  Within the first five minutes.. we had a chemistry.  He later told me that when I opened my mouth to sing & he heard what came out, he was sold and he was my drummer forever, If I lived that long.  It was instant musical chemistry history.  We had a ball, I forgot to take breaks, we had the place rockin, the night ended too soon.  It felt like that a lot…. In the beginning.

  He dressed like a cowboy, he is an American Indian.  He has a love hate relationship with horses, I won't go into detail here, but lets just say he spent a lot of time in the river due to one particular horse who would always dump him in there. He & Rog got along great. The beginning years were very special with him.  He kept wanting to go back, on the road. He went out when he was in his teens. He looked way older than he was. Lived an adult life of a road dog.  He had been a tramp with women & on a saddle. So he ended up with the name Saddle Tramp, which got shortened to just Tramp.  He wanted us to quit the day job shit & hit the road full time.  Worked on us all summer, to go on the road.  A year & a half later, with another piece added to the band, we did it.   We had a house gig lined up that we were playing plus holding down day jobs.  We had to make a choice because we were wearing out trying to do it all.  So…. We hit the road. We took off with a months worth of work in….. Nevada.  We didn't look back then either it was the start of a 25 year long drive.  

   He got to be like my right arm on stage. No matter what I wanted to do, or how I forgot to do something, he just KNEW! He just did it. When I wrote something,  I didn't have to explain what I wanted him to play at all. It sort of spoiled me for other people. I had low tolerance for explaining things to my future drummers because after having him just "do it",  I found it particularly annoying to have to explain what used to be so obvious to Tramp.  If I did anything that was not planned, he was RIGHT THERE. He could have worked for James Brown, (notoriously rough on players on his ques), Tramp paid attention, he delivered, and shocked himself at times with his own ability.  His style was smooth & a powerhouse when needed. He didn't have a problem playin lounge music & using brushes, nor did he mind kickin ass for bikers who wanted to feel it. He was not a metronome, he was a drummer who knew how to breathe and still keep the tempo danceable or in context. Not so stubborn that he could not adapt to the picture he was framing.  Strong, firm, but not stiff.  He flowed with sound. He could make that twine string, bailing wire and duct tape sound like Buddy Rich was in da house.   All in the delivery.  That part will always be my best memory of the man. I knew that when he was on stage with me, no matter what happened, there would be magic.  If I could feel it, there is no way the rest of the people could ignore it. 

    Tramp entries, there too many to cover all at once. They are not all happy. Not by a long shot.  This was the beginning.  I can answer my phone, hear his voice & feel like I am missing the road again.  Not what the road is now mind you, but what it was then.   He was the inspiration to many songs that I wrote in the 80's.  During the year he was badgering me to hit the music road full time, I wrote two songs with that in mind.  I will share the lyrics of both of them with you for my next blog entry. It may fill in a blank or two better said in a song.

  He has had another lifetime since the time we knew each other well. He has introduced me to two very cool women that he has had in his life that I am proud to call my friends. He gave me musical chemistry, memories & a kick start to get rollin on a wing & a prayer. I also learned long ago that I cannot help him with what he needs most. Self discipline. For the past two decades I have not been involved in much of a daily life with him. It does not change the emotional tie & respect of the past; it just means we have moved on.  Facts are seen so differently from one person to another.  He gave me a kick-start 25 some odd years ago with pushing me in the right direction. I made the right choices for me because of that influence.  I only wish now, that he would have let me influence him in the same way to make the right choices for himself.  Regardless, if he does or he doesn't.  We will always share that magical musical chemistry; my door is always open to him & his family. If you ever read this, as I have told you many times, my car & I are always ready to take you…to an AA meeting.  Love Always.  Tune it or die.

George Carlin on Age

George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is th e devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until y ou gasp for breath. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them , at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I not only think I can, I know I can :)  Tune it or die

Creature Comforts

 It's one of those days again. Heavey. Snow is falling, it is beautiful... there is a fog. When it is snowing it is not as cold as I have been exposed to before. Makes me think of the creature comforts we all take for granted on such a daily basis. Water, warmth, food, privacy, electricity, entertainment, communication at the drop of a hat. 

     I have lived without these things periodicly in my life. Usualy at the same time cause when it rains it pours. This entry takes place when I was a kid mind you, and I think it was easier to cope. One didn't have the stress of figuring out how to get creature comforts back, you just enjoyed it. Yeah, enjoyed the moment. We had only moved to that area so we did not know anyone but family that was not close enough to help. There was nobody but us.  I remember making shadow hands on the refrigorator with the light from the lantern in a blizard. My Aunt who lived with us was 8 years older and to her.. it was hell.  To me, I got to spend time with her & my mom.  We didn't have water... it froze in the pipes. Not only did we have to melt snow for us,  (thank God for the snow, without it I shutter to think what would have happened), but we had animals to take care of.  Now they can eat snow, but it still does not cut the thirst in the critters.  So.. for anything we drank, washed or did that took water, you melted snow. The stove was open with big pots filled with snow, to heat the little area we were huddled in and to melt snow.  There was no privacy... it was too cold. There was no tv because the lights were out.  My father who worked 20 miles away, could not make it home. He was gone for days... stayed with my uncle. Talk about worry... he had a wife, a daughter, and a sisterin law, trapped in the snow with chores to do and he was helpless to get there. 

News bullitin... we made it. No thanks to me I might add.  I actualy made it more difficult.  My mother and her sister dug tunnels to the barn from the house because there was so much snow that it was up to the door on the house.  Another reason we melted snow.. to get OUT.  So with the snow being melted and shoveled.. they made a tunnel to the sheep barn and the chicken coop, with a hole going up too.. so that they could see and that would get us out to clear off the top of the house for vents to breathe.  Little did I know... that playing on top of the huge snowbanks... it would weaken the snow that was crusted over on top.. only to cave in.  All that work, gone with me stomping on top of it all.  Lesson 1. When nobody is talking to you in a small area ... it can be real lonely.   I understand what it is like when things get out of control and you can not change things to your favor instantly.  The best way to deal with things coming at you is to realize, it could be worse.  I have been thru worse, cause the story I just mentioned was a learning experience for a kid.. and a good one. 

   I know that things come in doses.  Loosing creature comforts is a pain in the ass but it is not the worst thing in the world.  When things hit me one after the other and there is no let up, I always remember, I have had it worse.  Everyone wants to be independent when things hit them, and that is a good trait. However I have learned that when things are not going well and someone offers a hand to make it not so tough... take the hand.  Not only does it make it easier to cope for yourself, but it allows the person offering to prove something too.  That they are there, and ready to go that extra mile .. for you.  It makes that particular relationship a bit stronger.   In this day and age, value of creature comforts are confused... if you have the ability to stay warm and full... that is the reward.. the rest are just modern convienence.

   I think back on the stress my mother must have been under... she was only 28, she had a 7 year old, her husband was stranded elsewhere, it was up to her to feed us & the animals, & keep us from freezing. It was the blizzard of 1968, & I will never forget it.  I can imagine how different it would have been if someone had been there to help.  I would have learned a different lesson, maybe I would have learned to share a bit earlier in life, instead of trying to do everything myself.  My mother is a little thing, always has been, just over 100lbs. soak & wet. Her stature meant nothing when you gave her a shovel...  btw.. did I ever say thanks mom & Wendy, those hours in the blizzard that you were not shoveling pretty much made my future happen........ we entertained ourselves, the lantern & refridgerator puppets, the animals, a few card games & I remember..............we sang.