Love - In Love

  Do you know the difference between, you love somone, or are "in love" with them? 

There is the unconditional love between family. You don't have to like them or the things they do but you find that you love them anyway.  That is not the kind I am talking about.   You can also be "in love" with someone and not like them very much.

Its love when you put their needs before your own not once, but as a given.

Its "in love" when you put their needs before yours & you don't think about the after effects.

It's love when they are part of your day, Its "in love" when they are your first thought of the day, & the last thought of your day.

Its "in love" when you can't stand the fact that they can breathe without you.

Its "in love" when you find yourself smileing for no reason at all with them on your mind.

"in love" A touch can run a shiver thru you, and the same touch can be reasuring.

"in love" Craveing time, no matter how much you already share. 

Its love when you know that perhaps passion has faded, but you still care.

It's "in love" when you realize that it is not an obsession, because it has not faded over time.

    I believe it is possible to be "in love" with more than one person at a time, just as one can love more than one person at a time.  It takes its toll. It helps to be able to separate the differences. 

   When young or old lovers are "in love" with each other and only each other, it is a positive gift that does not compare with anything else we have been given in life to enjoy.

  When someone is truely "in love" with more than one person, it can eat you alive.

By the same token, if you are "in love" alone, an experience of sadness & lonelyness that you would never think possible.

If you love somebody, it is always a good thing to tell them.

If you are "inlove" with someone, sometimes it is better not to tell them. (back to that eaten alive statement)

If you are "inlove" with somone and it is not the same feelings returned, you will be the one giving more of yourself... and feel empty, because there will never be what you are looking for returned to you.

Dedication, careing, loyalty all get mushed together in the love title. The same three have nothing to do with being "in love".  There is no controlling who you are "in love" with.  You can't change it either. 

You don't have to be dedicated to be "inlove", you don't have to be loyal to be "inlove" you don't have to be careing to be "inlove", because sadly enough, I believe that there are more people who are "in love" alone.

   So many unhappy people going thru the motions because they only love the one they are with.  So many unhappy people because they are "inlove" with somone and silent.

    There is a quote that says "The one who loves more, gives more".  I believe this is true.  Makes you sit back and think, are you a giver or are you a taker in your current relationship. If you can't tell which, open your eyes a little wider. If it is a mutual give & take, chances are, you are a happy individual!

     I have heard the statement "I love you  & I am "inlove" with you".  I gladly take both to heart, and the feeling is so mutual. I just hope it means the same to them as it means to me.

So for all of the people I love, I hope you are happy. And for all of the people that are

"in love"... I hope it is the right kind. .... how do you know....... you just do.

Throwing Emotional Bricks

Ok, so I admit sometimes it takes me a while to "get it". Sometimes it takes a brick upside the head before it sinks in. Especially when I don't want things to be different than what I want them to be.

The old saying of "Actions, or for that matter lack of  actions, speak very loud. Louder than words." How true in every aspect. 

  Sometimes no words, just effort and awareness can heal the deepest wounds. Words are only bandaids.  So.. hit me with a brick.. I will notice, and it will hurt. But because I want to think the best of things not the worst, it makes me wait.

Hit me twice, I may hang around to see if you meant it, but I have already preped myself and was expecting the blow. Depending on how much I care about the subject matter determines if I save my sanity.

Try and hit me a third time... opps sorry, not going to happen.... I have gone away.

     Bricks are thrown everyday on every level.  Big to small. I try not to throw them.

Sometimes it is as simple as telling someone that you only like....... sorry I don't think of you that way and yes lets remain friends.  That is a brick... if they don't pay attention, it requires more.  Some people don't get it and never do.. they are hard headed.

   I know when Ive been hit with a brick, (usualy smart enough).  However it is easy to see a brick when you are throwing it.... but not as easy to see it coming.

Good rule of thumb..... if you don't like getting hit with emotional bricks, become unavailable, or go away from the thrower.  Don't throw in the towel too early and be paranoid, but....

 Don't be a target. Don't be a victim.  Don't let the bricks hit you enought to build up a wall around you when they fall.

     Pay attention to actions of others not words alone, cause actions and deeds are where the bricks come from.    I have enough bricks to build a small fence around me. I can still let people in.  I can also jump the brick fence and be gone.... no target anymore. 

Shareing

Shareing

  I am an only child. My parents wanted more children.  They were great parents, I had a perfect childhood. We were not rich, but I didn't lack for anything. I  was not spoiled and that is not usualy the case with an only child. I understood the value of a dollar, I had chors to do I had lessons learned by not getting everything I wanted unless I worked for it. 

  I had three sets of toys. One, was things I put on the self and still had plastic on them. They were according to size and placed accordingly. Nobody touched these, and I only looked at them, I didn't want them ruined so even I didn't play with them. I dusted them. Changed the plastic when it yellowed. and looked at my beautifull toys.  I then had the things that other kids could play with when they were at my house. These things usualy ended up broken because of the other kids... I took care of my things, but when someone else plays with them, they don't.

I then had my stuff.  Things that I did not share, just for me and I played with them by myself.

  I find that I have kept that rule thru my life.  I have things that I share with people, I have things that are only mine.. and I have things that I hold so dear to me.. that I don't ever want them broken. This is not just things, it is people and relationships.  Some things I don't share and will not ever. Some things I have to even when I don't want to. I will also allow myself to have that non touchable area, as long as I make myself learn to share other things.  There is nothing wrong with keeping things for only you.  You are the best friend you got.. so take care of your things, and your emotions. Nobody else will, they may break them.

  I find myself getting better at shareing some things.  I am learning, and it gets easier. Specialy when you have to.  There is a way and a state of mind that makes you realize you can not control fate or situations.  It is not my nature to share the good stuff, the things that are important to me. I don't like it when I have to.  However, I have to on some things now and it helps to keep an open mind on it. I will never be used to it and it will not be my first instinct, but I am trying.  However... if I do share with you, and you break it. God help you.

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

Sweat The Small Stuff

It amazes me how sometimes we get rapped up into something that is really emotional, really intense and urgent, "at the time".    On the big scale of things it is nothing. Just another way to handle it, good or bad.  Choices.. and effect.

  Depending on any given mood, a care factor is added into the mix. Large or small, it changes how intense the level of importance is.

    When I spent six years in a row doing the same routine pretty much every day and every weekend, I found that it all messes together with little change of memories for that time. The consistencey blended together and made the six years feel like a very short time.

   When I spent the next 25 some odd years traveling, changeing everything on a daily basis, the memories flood thru my mind to the point where I have forgotten some of them.  It does not mesh together at all. 

  People that actualy get out and change things regularly, will have a fuller life, it won't seem like they are stuck in a comfort zone.  Age has something to do with it too.  I find that now it is ok to have things mesh together, not as active and not too many surprizes.  I would not have traded the busy years tho... cause now I know the difference.

Not to sweat the small stuff, it just is not that important.   Give the level it is due to any problem that arizes.. however, don't make a mountain out of a molehill. 

If someone gets under your skin and annoys you... deal with it.  Don't let the drama win.

Make a choice and stick to it.... nobody likes reruns of a bad show. Don't give attention to a lost cause that is not something you need to care about. 

You don't have to be mean to do this, but it takes two people to argue, it takes one to end it.

It is important to simplify ones life.  Too much drama is not what we are here for.  Drama belongs on a stage to enjoy, not to cause in everyday life.    Get your level of importance straight and you will have a better time of it.

Pick your battles, gracefully admit defete, stick up for yourself.
Don't be offended at the drop of a hat, make sure it is worthy of your attention. It could be.. simply.. you sweat too much small stuff :)

Small stuff. :)

Be Carefull How Much Time You Spend In Your Dreams

Be carefull how much time you spend in your dreams, or you will miss out on living your own life.

 Remember your friends look at you more than you do. If you are always loosing friends or have to change them for new ones all the time... just what do they see.

     If you are constantly looking for something else other than what is in front of you, just what aren't you seeing that IS right in front of you.

     If you could have yourself as your best friend, would you?  Would you stick around if you had to be your own company?

Yeah... these are from me.. nobody else, just thoughts for the day. Nobody triggered them.. ahem.. well maybe one or two. 

Lip Service

Are you one of those people who does what they say they will or are you lip service?

  I know someone that told me that as a rule he tries to learn somthing new every day no matter how small the information is.  He also said his biggest achievement in life was following thru with the things he has said he will do.   He makes a list of things to finish.. and does it.

   How many times have you had someone say.. oh yeah.. I'll send that to you or yeah, I have one and you can have it. Only you never see it because it was not important enough to the other person, or they simply forgot.  Forgot you. Forgot what they promised you.  Makes you feel pretty significant when you think about it. Significant in the... you are forgetable catigory.

 It is like the Hi How are you greeting.  They don't listen to the answer.. it is just polite lip service.  Without it we feel really slighted because it is some type of greeting or notice of you specificly no matter how mondane. Following thru is like that as well.

  How nice it would be if people asked How are you??? and really heard the answer. If when they said, yeah.. I can do that before the end of the week, let me write it down so I don't forget.  Get rid of the oversights.

   Guess what I'm trying to say is. Unless it is not possible to do things that you say you will no matter how large or small, then don't say it.  If you do say it.. make it possible to be done within a reasonable amount of time, before the time laps so long you forget it.  Pay attention to the little things, cause they add up.

 I watched the person that I learned this from over years of hanging together.  He walked the walk and talked the talk.  Very content when he did what he said he would. Sort of a reward to himself.  He also learned not to strech himself too thin this way. He learned to follow thru and he learned it was also easier to say no, I can't or won't do that, instead of promising something to someone that you have no intention of doing..... and not saying it just for conversation.

  If we all tried to apply this... we would have better feelings all around, not be let down by things so easily, learn to say when no when you have no time to do it and NOT feel bad about using the No word.  Also.. to feel like you did something when you do it.   A more real way to live.    The proof is in the pudding, if you say it, mean it.  If you are joking, or are serious, make sure you are with someone who understands the difference....or do what you say you will.      I tried his way, and it became mine. I am alot better at following thru what I say I will do. Once in a while things escape me, or it may take a while to get it done, but it gets done.

So...thanks Wayne aka Washeup Sideways for the insight.http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5266473&l=47cf8df804&id=632883930

claireShowFull.f4v

Delete delete dele del de d deleted

Delete delet dele del de d deleted.

Do you ever wish that it would be so simple to just delete away all the things that annoy you?

It would be so easy to just rid ourselves of things that happen that we don't like. Not just on a computer.. that is the easy one. I'm talking about deleting things you don't want around anymore and typing in a new whatever. A new ending, a new story line.. and have it happen.

  If the deleting works.. so would the typing in the new stuff. People could send the bad shit to the trash bin with the click of a few buttons, never to be delt with again.  People could write in things on how time is spent or who loves whom and it would just become factual. We control it now to some degree, we have the power to delete some things, or just forget about it. But in every computer.. there is that place where not even evidence eliminator goes.... and it is a ghost there. Just like in our minds... it is never truely gone, just placed in a far away area and tried to be forgotten.  That is where the dreams go.. and come back from. You can't delete them from there, you already tried.  Little subliminal things can tick them off and activate them when you least expect it. A statement, a phone call, a reaction, all of the above. Things that you though you had figured out and settled, even believed it was true.

   My delete button doesn't work. Not in life.. I can't type in a new story line... the ghosts just keep comin back around taking their turn.  So I clean house with a delete button here once in a while.. on the web.  I have to learn to deal with it in both places... when it creeps up in one I deal with it there or in the other. When they intermingle, it becomes... hard. Makes me want to delete not only facts but time spent in the effort, but delete my feelings as well. Become numb so that when someone types in a story line... I won't care about it.  I can delete how I feel.

    Wish it was that easy... just a click or two away to get peace of mind when you feel something is just not right.  Maybe I am thinking with the wrong button.. perhaps I need to focus on the escape button...esc  esc  esc   gone.