Pet Pardons

This is Scarlett,      she was in a shelter for 117 days.   Nobody came for her, nobody cared enough,   she was put down.  Aprox 1 yr and one month old.    RIP

HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE   SAVE, Advocate,  Foster, Adopt.

Nobody can help everybody, but everybody can help somebody.

What is Pet Pardons?Pet Pardons is a facebook application that allows users to get involved in trying to save shelter dogs & cats on death row, in addition to promoting pets in no-kill shelters.

There are 2 main ways for users to get involved, Advocating & Posting

Advocating

In order to help a Pet Pardons dog or cat, the user can click the “Advocate” button on each pet's profile. The “Advocate” button will instantly share the pet on the user's facebook wall, allowing their friends to see the pet, & even share the link on their own wall. The more users who advocate & share each dog & cat, the better the chances of the pet being seen by someone who can rescue or adopt—thus granting the pet a “pardon!”

Posting

Anyone can post a pet to Pet Pardons, & it's very simple to do. You just need to gather some basic information about the pet you want to list, including: Name, Euthanasia date (if applicable), Kennel Number, Breed, Age, Shelter/Rescue Location, & Photo. Once you have this info, then just click here(link), & start your post. Once your pet is posted, the pet will be instantly listed on Pet Pardons, allowing other users to “Advocate” for the pet.

Goals of Pet Pardons

· To grant “pardons” to shelter pets that have no other hope, by finding foster or adoptive homes.
· To promote adoption from shelters & rescue groups, by showing these amazing shelter pets who need loving homes.
· To encourage the public to get more involved in saving the lives of shelter animals by advocating, fostering, transporting, donating, or adopting!
· To promote spay/neuter of all pets, by revealing what happens to shelter pets due to pet overpopulation.
· To educate the public about the heartbreaking reality of shelters in America.
· To reduce the number of pets killed in American shelters to zero.

How is Pet Pardons Funded?

Pet Pardons is privately funded by anonymous donors. Pet Pardons monthly budget is private, with 100% of all operating expenses being donated by the aforementioned donors. Pet Pardons is not a 501(c)3, nor does the site generate an income at present. Donations to Pet Pardons are not tax deductible. Pet Pardons does not benefit in any way whatsoever (financially or otherwise) from the listing of any pet or pets on this application.

How can I help pets at-risk on Pet Pardons?

The easiest way to help these pets is to go to each pet's profile & click the “Advocate” button at the top. This will allow the pet's picture & story to be posted to your facebook wall for your friends to see & share. Encourage your friends to share the link on their own wall, because the more people who see each pet, the better their chances finding the help they need!

Advocating is a simple & effective way to help these pets. However, we encourage every Pet Pardons user to get even more involved in the rescue of these pets. There are many ways to help:

· Offer to foster the animal until a forever home can be found.
· Offer to help transport the animal to the rescue group or new adoptive family.
· Offer to donate toward the pet's vet care or transport fee.
· Offer to adopt the dog or cat & provide them with the life they deserve!

For more information about Pet Pardons, send a private message toAshley Owen Hill

Different Every Time

I never could do it.  I never will do it.  I have no set list. I have a list of songs that I refer to as the  Dead Air List.   I pull from it if & when my mind goes blank as to material that I know.  It's a memory shaker, Title and Artist nudge.  I could not possibly write everything down I was gonna do & in what order for my day let alone for someone elses enjoyment...
It is different every time, no two audiences are the same.  There is a heart beat that never has the same cadence.  The mood, the air, the feel of it or anyone & everyone.   I could never commit to a set list because of this.  I wait for it.  It is one of the things in life that is a surprise. 
When I was asked to play a blues bar after doing a very country/rock gig, I didn't think we had enough material to pull it off successfully.  I used to work with a guitar player that said the difference between a country gig & a blues gig in his world is the SGF factor.   "The Screaming Guitar Factor"   He said.. put an edge on it.  He then showed me how he proposed to make his theory a fact.  He convinced me in seconds.  You can make any song feel a certain way if your heart is into it.   You have to be open to it to feel it when it comes from an audience.  Not always is it a welcomed feeling lol.  Not always is it wine & roses, sometimes you open yourself up to hostility & you have to tap into it... play for it & either ride that ride or change that mood, if they let you.    
I never know what I'm gonna do when I get there. 
The only time I know for sure what I'm gonna do is when I have something new.
Above all else, negative vibes, happy vibes, sad vibes, angry ones... the ones that take over them all is the enthusiastic ones.  No matter what is going on in a room, if someone is enthusiastic it spreads like a plague.  It isn't always the performer that brings it, but it is always an entertainer who can bring it in, spot it & use it to make that heartbeat thump as one.     Wha la, the show must go on.



The Headless Mouse

Sometimes true stories no matter how embarrassing are so much more humorous than fiction. This is one such story. It happened a couple of years ago.

   It was a long day of cleaning out the house, dog hair, laundry, dishes, and it was my first day off in four days of putting in 54 hours a week on the clock for someone else.

This was the start of work for me and the fam.   It is always interesting living in the woods, it is always rodent season. They come in the house, you learn to deal with the occasional dead mouse in a trap, and then the dead mouse in a trap smell. You go on a hunt and eventually find the smelly ones and collect them, then throw them out.  When my cat Charlie had total clearance to go anywhere in the house, there were less problems in that area. However…. If you have been following my blogs, you know that he is pretty much confined to the office for his own safety at this point in life. So, there is a surplus of dead mice to throw from time to time.   On this particular day, I had found one under the bathroom cabinet in the bathroom that Jilly uses. I found it, and when Roger got home, he removed it for me. All that was left was the scrub down.  So, I had mouse on the brain to some degree.  They guys had decided to mow the lawns so they were outside in the late afternoon. Roger on the tractor getting the big stuff and Addy taking the smaller mower and cutting in close to trees and other stuff. I was coming out of the office after checking on Charlie. I had let the three dogs he knows come in and visit him. Incidentally, they were happy to see him alive and well. He knows them well and was no longer upset or scared.

Anyway…. We all came out of the office, Me, Shasta, Sugar & Nomad. That is when I saw it. Baste in the hallway with something dead and bloody. He dropped it in front of me on the carpet.   I hate those moments of blood and dead things, so I didn't look very long.  I only noticed that the dead rodent of the moment did not have a head.  My thoughts were immediately thinking… "Oh great, now I have a head someplace to find".  I knew that I can't handle those things well, and I heard the little lawnmower stop.  Addy was gonna take five and prolly come in for a coke.  I yelled out to him… HEY!! Come get this dead mouse out the hallway please… I'll get you a coke, with ice even!

He came in and was ready to remove the dead mouse, but Nomad had picked it up while I was not looking and was headed back into the dinning room. He grabbed Nomad and stopped him from going any further.  He grabbed the tail that was hanging out of Nomads mouth and ordered him to drop it.  After a very small tug of war (after all it could get messy here), Nomad gave up and the mouse was picked up by the tail from my sweaty hero and quickly run to the door to throw out into the yard.   Ahhhh.. my hero.

Relived, but still wondering where the head was. Mind you….If you don't find a head on a body, you will find it eventually. It is not pleasant. I have stepped on a few.  Gotta love living in the forest. 

   So, I got a coke with ice for the hero. Roger came up for a drink as well. We sat there enjoying a libation on my porch, commenting how nice it looked when all mowed etc. etc.  Rog had a bit left to do but Addy was headed back to his side of the yard.  I went back into the house.  I grabbed my laundry basket and was headed for my bedroom with it to put things away.   As I reached my bedroom door… I saw it.   No. It was not the mouse head. It was worse.  I almost wish it were the mouse head. 

   I would like to take this time to digress and say, oh shit..or fuck me to tears. Just thought I would put that in there cause, that is how it felt.   As some of you know, dogs have a way of finding things you think you have thrown away.  They have a way of bringin them to you when you least expect it.  Don't worry, this will all make sense in a second.    There was toilet paper on my bedroom floor. It lead a trail to my bathroom garbage.  Baste had been in there.  Now normally I would not have had that fuck me to tears panic button go off… but to my dismay, the next few thoughts covered embarrassment to total laughter.   Baste had caught something alright.  A tampon from my garbage can. Because of my lack of examination, it looked like a dead mouse with a tail.  The hero thought the same, cause he never questioned it either.  Turns out that I was rescued from my own tampon by my trusty friend and neighbor. Ya know… You gotta admit that it is above and beyond the call of duty.   I was not going to tell him. I thought.. damn.. better that he doesn't know. It is just toooooo weird.  I did go out to the yard and find the damn thing. I drug it back in the house.  While I was doing that, Roger spotted me, and I had to explain to him just WHY I was bringing the dead bloody mouse back into the house….. it just got more and more silly from there.    I did end up telling the hero what happened.  He simply said… "Fantastic" in a very dull dry tone.  I think the word "greeeeaaaat" was in there too.  He even signed my anniversary card as Tampon Man…. So um.. I think he sees the humor here.   Jilly died laughing. She recovered, but all of her body hurts from laughing for a half hour straight.  My mother who was here….. laughed so hard tears came to her eyes.  Roger.. was just laughing off and on all day cause of it.  So.. as it appears to be very humorous, I opted to tell the world.    This is a true story. I hope you enjoyed it.

I now have a lid for my garbage can. I also promise to examine dead bloody things with tails and no heads more carefully before I yell for help.   I would like to add.  NO this does not make him my blood brother!!! LOL…Ahem..  

Bigger Than Life Redneck Dancer Wedding Floor Show

Yet another blast from my past. It is a pretty mellow one but one that brings a smile to my face none the less. 

     This takes us back to the very early 80's.  We have a little 3 piece at the time with Rog on bass, Kahuna (Ron) on drums, & me on guitar. It was in the early years; it was the second real live drummer we had worked with as a group.  It was a simple time, we played, we made money… lots for a three piece at the time.  It got to the point where I didn't have to cold call places to play; they started to call me. We got the gigs lined up and knew where we were gonna be at least a year in advance.  We were weekend warriors and cutting our teeth on some music that was way beyond us (but we did it anyway), live & learn.  I think this is what always gave us the edge that we had.  Learned a lot from Kahuna, he had been playing for over a decade by the time he met up with us. He added humor, a voice, ability & wit. I had a ball working with him. Looked forward to it. He had used it as an escape from the doldrums of a 40-hour a week job. He was a family man you see, already had four kids & a wife at home. So the weekends were his escape to fuel the artsy fartsy part of him that made him who he was.  We kept the traveling within a two-hour radius at the time. We had to, there was no way we could get off work and make it in time to set up, play, tear down, make it home & be back to work with a short nap fit in if there was time.  That was how we lived for 5 or 6 years. I believe it is called paying your dues. Little did I know that it was only the prelude to what was to come…..   During that time, we got to play for crummy little lounges where people didn't notice you unless you fucked up. We also got some really fun gigs playing for bikers. They have private parties, seasonal ones for Christmas, spring, a new bike, someone's had a baby or someone has died. We played them all. We were sort of a personal band for the Clark County Riders for a few years until we moved away from that area. During that same time period, we would change attire and play for nightclubs and supper clubs, street dances and the all-famous wedding dances.  We were a bit different because we talked and included the people that were paying attention. Kahuna had some skits that worked well, he introduced them to us, we used em, then we carried it on from there… bigger, better, nastier, suggestive but not raunchy, all in the name of humor and entertainment.  Lets just say it grew.  

  There is one particular dance that I remember playing in the beginning years as that same trio.  I had my girlfriend Jilly visiting us for a few days. She didn't get to visit often, mother of two, recently divorced at the time, the little kids with the ex mother in law for the weekend.  She lived maybe 8 hours from me, but back then it may as well have been 800. (Hell long distance phone calls were once a year then too…. Oh my the expense). LOL.    So on this rare occasion of her visit, we had a wedding dance to play.  Loaded up the van, Kahuna showed up, we piled in and off we went.  I had the directions to a gymnasium.. ick.  Those places sound so crappy, especially when you are first learning about sound and manipulating it.  Roger did a great job considering we had just got a new (used) to us P.A. system.  We got there, rushed to set up, which with the new P.A. was a big deal to us at the time. We didn't have any lights to set up except one, that we brought from home just to set up so we wouldn't trip on things.  We turned it off during the show time, cause it started to look corny to me to have a lamp WITH shade be the only lighting we had.  This lighting detail is very important to this story; it is what the memory is based on actually.  So bare with me as I set the scene.  The gymnasium had bleachers on one side and was used as a basketball court also.  There was a huge stage that we set up on. It had drapes in front for plays and anything else that was stage able there.  It was decent; it had the beige lighter drapes hanging on the two sides and back of the main stage. Theater effect.  There was a back stage area and places for props of all kinds.   At the time of this gig however, all that was behind the back stage curtain was a big over stuffed chair and a table with an ashtray & table lamp, it was plugged in and worked.  We started out our night, the bride and groom were there, rednecks in love, and the people started comin in.  Jilly was out on the floor listening for a while, moved all over the gym to see if there was any spots that really sucked for sound so that she could give us a heads up.  She didn't mingle much but sort of hung out like the eccentric groupie.  They would come over to her and ask requests and expect her to deliver the oh so important message up to us.

She tired of this game very fast, so she went back stage after our first break.  She made her home in the big overstuffed chair back stage.  At this time I need to explain Jilly as best I can to you. She is not a shy woman. She loves to dance. She is an artist. She is tall and thin (Vogue Model material here), she laughs LOUD and does not hold back. She smoked like a house on fire and would have a beer, or two but didn't get real loaded.  I have known her since way before kindergarten.  Mine AND hers. So with that, I shall continue to set the scene. 

Second set, Jilly is back stage sitting in the over stuffed big chair.  We shut off our lamp where we were and the stage was lit, but not very well and the house lights were up because they were checking for alcohol with the teenagers… (Really a joyful wedding dance).  So we could see, but we were not lit up as much as the dance floor…(might I add that, THAT is a big taboo in my book).  Anyway, since it was poorly lit on stage, it was very dark backstage where Jilly was. So, instead of sitting in the dark, she turned on the lamp beside the chair.  This is where it gets interesting. We are playing away to our underage wedding party; people were shy but starting to have a good time slowly if at all. Then it happened.  Someone had requested  Bob Segars "ol time rock & roll".  At the time, it was not that old and very very popular for a band to throw out at any given time.

We were just happy that they wanted to rock…. Maybe it would be a good night after all.

Un known to us…. Something bigger was happening.  The audience was dancing.. But they were looking at us like we were bigger than life.  I thought damn… we must sound really great!!!! They were looking up with mouths open.. Big smiles, and then they started pointing.  Now.. I don't know about you, but laughing is one thing but when you add pointing to that, I get paranoid.  It was not one or two.. But twenty to fifty people that were looking at the stage and cracking up.  So I look at Roger, not a clue, I look at Ron who was in the middle and towards the back of Roger & myself…. That is when I saw what they were looking at.   The stage curtain had a silhouette that was bigger than life of an over stuffed chair, a table, a lamp, smoke coming up from an ashtray & a beer can. You could actually see the smoke rise.  When we had started the song, Jilly turned the light on to see, took a drag from her cig, stood up, stretched, took a drink from the can, and proceeded to rock out. Dancing like a wild ass go go dancer all by herself behind the curtain. However little did she know or even think about it, but her shadow was clear as day and bigger than life. It looked like we had a maniac go go dancer back stage.  We started laughing with the audience.. amazed at the effect.  When we ended the song. Jilly stopped dancing, took a drink of beer and sat back in the big over stuffed chair. Waiting & smoking.  Whenever we did a song she liked, she would get up and shake it. Lol.. You have to realize that it was very bigger than life and the fact that she had no idea that her private dancing was very very very public and also popular to the crowd it was a magical moment in time.  We didn't tell her till the night was over lol.. It was great.  I will never forget it.   If she was a bit embarrassed, it did not last long and it would have only been because she didn't realize that people were watching.  She was probably thinking… oh shit did I scratch myself????????  Hahah.. You have to know her to realize that it was a minor thing to her, but a memory that has lasted me over 25 years.

  It was just so .. Us.   Bad lighting but a kick ass go go girl in the back.  The early years, ya gotta do em.             Later……. Tune it or Die.

P.S.  This Picture is of her in my current back yard one morning in 2008. She has on rollerstakes, there are a buffalo... coffee and loud laughter  just sayin.. some things never change.

A Breath of Youth

A Breath of Youth

   The last few years of her life, she sat in her chair watching TV. Not that it was much different than a lot of her life J.. however.. she used to watch it by choice. In the end, it was all there was to do for her. If she moved, she was in pain. Her body simply wore out. It had had a hard life of some work… and a lot of drinking.  Her life was entertained by the TV, and any communication from her family.  It was a lifeline that I don’t think they knew about. Any letter or call was shared with “news” of how everybody was. She kept me connected to cousins I had not seen in years, and aunts and uncles that were busy with their own kids and grandkids.  She would worry, stress about the world news. Get very depressed when there was no word from the people that were on her mind all the time.  She still laughed at times, but it was short lived. Not a lot to look forward to yet she tried.

    I remember going to visit her one afternoon. She had told me that she had found a friend. If I remember right, it was at an AA organization for singles or some type of social deal where you don’t meet face to fact but can contact each other for support.

I didn’t think much about the friend until the phone call that I was witness to while I was there.  It was like any normal visit for she and I J… We did not always agree on things and she would give me her two cents and I would listen to her values and preferences then tell her what I was going to do anyway.   Looking at her that day, she was in her chair, with oxygen tank connected to her, and smoking her camel cigarettes at the same time…. And she wonders why I did not always follow her advice.  Her eyes were faded blue, her face happy to see me, but a pasted smile for my benefit. She was uncomfortable and there was no move or position that was going to change it, but she only had to smile while I was there.  We talked a while, made some coffee, caught up on things. She had told me about this new friend. How they had not met yet but talked on the phone.  It was a man. An elderly gentleman as she put it.   They had everything in common, and were both lonesome for company.   The first conversation was short by my standards but to them it was a long time to hold the phone.   She was telling me the details and I noticed something, she was, excited about telling me. That something grew into a graphic face and a real smile.  It was a breath of life…sneaking in.  This older gentleman was single/widowed, lived an hour away, had been calling her for weeks, couple times a day, and she returned the calls. They had already spent hours talking to each other.  While I was there, the phone rang. She answered.  That breath of life not only snuck in, it took over.  I was allowed to see a transformation from a woman in her late 70’s turn into a teenage girl right before my eyes.   Right down to the giggling.  I was not ignored, but I was not the immediate priority J  I waited, looking at magazines and pictures of my family members that they had sent her. Dear Momma, love etc etc.   

     She was so alive, so vibrant.  Even the pain took a step back and let her be for just a few minutes.  She smiled, giggled, flirted, showed compassion, interest and had something to look forward to.   The next call.  When the call was over, she was still on cloud 9. She looked at me and said  “Carrie Lynn, I think I have… a.. boyfriend” J and then she giggled again.    She told me that they had planned to meet when she got a ride to the city for a meeting.  He didn’t drive either.  He smoked, she smoked,  his family was moved away with a few close by but didn’t see them much. They would meet in another month. … until then… they talked and talked and talked.    I was happy for her. For just a little bit of time… one more time she was able to tap into that lil thing we call youth and love.  It was like she never left it, yet longed for it.  Didn’t know it was missing until it hit once again at a ripe old age.   I will never forget those faded blue eyes… that this relationship put a twinkle in.   Her eyes telling me about it, talking on the phone and the afterglow of the conversation…. Were not faded at all, but vibrant, with a sparkle that lasted for a little while.

        I was on the road so I would call to check in with her almost regularly.. things were still cool.   Then I came for a visit again, and  I asked how the meeting had went.  With a wave of her hand as in dissing it. She said ick.  He was nothing like he described, he was rude and never shut up. He smoked too much and was a whiner.   Thru her teenage eyes she also saw what she thought was the ideal elderly man.  He probably in turn did not think of his dream girl on oxygen in the fantasy of it all.  She had the same faded blue eyes with uncomfortable pain once again.  This time no teenage breath of air for a reprieve. She smiled for real and said.. aww well. I think I’m done with romance. She had me change the channel to the animal planet. Got her some coffee. Hugged her stiff little shoulders that felt like a little bird. So fragile, so breakable. I don’t have to wonder if her heart was the same as that, I know it was.  So it was back to watching TV and waiting for phone calls from her family and getting the mail delivered. That was the day for her, food was not interesting, she watched Disney, animal planet, religious shows and old movies. Looked out the window at the retaining wall that was across the street where the Little white church was above it. That was her view. She looked at it every day. The TV was beside the window. Her chair across the room.  We went back to the saying “today is a good day to die”  from one of our favorite movie lines.

Her birthday was in October. She hated the way her body was as she grew older. Her pains, her broken hip, her limitations. She didn’t feel pretty anymore. The little tube of lipstick didn’t do the magic it used to when she was younger.  Yet. When anyone came to visit, she grabbed it and put some on, just for color you see J.  She was so disgusted about her breasts that she even flashed my mother in law.  She said.. hey  wanna see something totally disgusting?  We all laughed including my grandmother, but there was a bit of too much real in that for her. Not something you see every day.  As I write this, it is a flashing (pardon the pun) memory about the sad stuff, and a whole lotta memories flood in about all the good.  I see her eyes, bright and twinkling, full of piss and vinegar, her yahoooooooo , her feather in her hat, her hanging on to the fire engine on the back, headed for Deadwood an hour away, and her robbing the 1980 train one more time. I love you Gramma,

   Guess the moral of this story is, youth & love or the combination of it: has no limits, it can reach even thru the years of age, thru pain, thru lonely, and put you right back in the moment. Not even distance is a factor.  Better to have loved for a breath of life lived in youth again, than to never have dreamed at all.  

The Process

The Process

Most of my life I have been able to meet people with no problem at all. Nobody is a stranger to me unless they are really strange and make the hair on my neck stand up for a bad reason.  Everybody has potential to be less than a nerd or more than a super hero, the only way to find that out is… get to know him or her.

I have thousands of acquaintances in my life, many people I hold dear and a hand full of friends that I trust my life with. When you add family and musical people that share a love and a passion, they all get filtered into those areas, some of them doubling up in several categories in my mind. 

 The last thing I want to do today is write a long drug out scenario of "friendships". That has been talked about and preached about and blogged to death. I am guilty of it in past postings. It usually gets written as a venting process or to clear something up. That is not my point today. 

  Over the past years, I have had the opportunity to meet and spend time with some new people on a casual level. Prolly never gonna share my most intimate thoughts with them, probably going to listen to their problems and be a shoulder at times, but they will come and go out of my life, will be here only a short time.  Yeah, I get attached easy, but I didn't give them any vows of dedication for life here.  We laugh a lot, we share moments and events that will be forgotten over time unless someone reminds us of them.

I'll use a metaphor of calling them Styrofoam friendships, they are great for right now, they are happy working and when you no longer have it, you don't miss it much.

I am really drawn to my glass cup friendships for life. They are the ones that I am not dwelling on today, but to compare the Styrofoam ones to it, the Styrofoam are here today and gone tomorrow, and not many tears are shed.  The glass cup ones however…..

They are cherished for life; they are fragile but much preferred for me.  If you crack or break your cup, it doesn't mean it cannot be glued or repaired, but you will always see the scar. That is a true friendship.  If it shatters to pieces, it means someone dropped it forever.  Your glass cup friends are not always there from day to day, you have to expand your world and let others in to pass the time or maybe you were sent to them for a reason that you have no idea about.

  When getting to know these new Styrofoam friends, sometimes I grow tired of the process.  I know I know, it means I am getting older. My point is, I have run this tape so many times before, you can almost fill in the answers without the other person there to ask them.  So many people have similar characteristics to others that you already know.

I must say here that I am generalizing because I do know that everyone is just a bit different and right when you think you know someone, they will come out of left field and freak you out.  Most Styrofoam friends are predictable.  Don't get me wrong here, I am not be-littleing anyone by the name here, it is just a clarification of status. 

I enjoying new temporary friends. They are not around me enough to piss me off or to have them get pissed off at me for any reasons. There is time to laugh at life and everyone is just there for the laughs, the money or time spent.  Once in a while you see a bit of unexpected chemistry in someone that draws you to them just a bit more than some of the others.  I am not paying much attention to chemistry these days, every time I do it turns my world upside down from the inside out, puts me on a roller coaster ride that I never bought tickets for.  So having a laugh again with temporary foam friends is pretty all right at times. Not that I ever stopped laughing for long, but sometimes laughter has a bitter taste to it when things are unsettled.  Temporary friends don't have to know your past or current situation to have a laugh with you. If it is fun or funny, you laugh.  It doesn't matter that you are broke, rich, happy, depressed, married, single, a garbage man or a lawyer, they are all there to intermingle.

Now you can take the same attitude in a negative vain and say… they are all idiots wasting my time, or you can see it for what it is….. a way to make someone's day or have them make yours.  With no strings, no sadness.

  Larry once told me (Larry being a non Styrofoam dear friend in the glass cup section of my mind, with some glue on the cup lol)…. Anyway, he once told me that I could have fun in a toilet full of hornets. I laughed at that, but sometimes I think he was right. I consider that a compliment these days.  I find that when I don't loose patience with the process of getting to know the knew foam people……. Each one is a bit different than what we assume they are. They are NOT all like someone we have met before. Similar does not mean exact. Always room for surprise.  

I don't have enough time or gas money to be around the people I have as life long friends already. So phone calls, emails and just the mental "you know" will have to do as time goes speeding past us.  In the mean time, I hope my glass cup friends have a similar situation where they are meeting happy, fun people to pass the time with,…. Until we meet again.   Remember the ones you know and love,  & don't forget to laugh & enjoy the ones you are with.

Tune it or die.

Sound Cloud

Just another place to put a few more cuts ... some new some not.
http://soundcloud.com/clairededirval

Lay It Down

http://soundcloud.com/clairededirval

Lay it down

From the day that you were born
till the time you were no more
There was singing from the balconies
there was laughing on the shore

We all heard you when you landed
smiled your first,cried your last
felt your mighty voices tremble
in this place that is so vast

Take on the fight,young William Clarence
Take all the weight and move on by
Put all your love into this world
Even when it leaves you dry

When the sea was grey and tossing
When the work was all but done
The time you moved into our hearts
We saw your love shine through the Son

Pick up the Cross,young Derrick William
in a world where you,ll stand tall
taller than the highest forest
Your tiny hand has touched them all

She,ll be waiting for you someday
the only place that will remain
a smile of confidence and comfort
When she,ll take you home again

Take it up and be excited
take it up and rest assured
Take us all along beside you
through the life that you endured

Move ahead among the paths of love
soft as your head lays down
touching all our lives from deep inside
Take up the cross and lay it down


Written by - Michael Landefeld
Composed by - Carrie Fischer

Food For Thought

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that
wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You
will have your heart broken probably more than once and
it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight
with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things
an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too
many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never
been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be
afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Sifting Thru The Ashes of Creativity

I really believe that my best times to create something of any kind, is when my mind has time to wonder.  I am never bored, however when I have time to "not think" about what I have to do, or be clocked in on someone else's time or someone else's dreams, I get creative on my own.   When I am busy with routine or making money, my creativity takes a back burner and simmers. Sometimes the flame goes out and I loose the thought forever.  I'm not talking one thing here; I mean a plethora of self induced projects that interest me.  Be it writing music, making a mess out of plaster and color, refinishing something that someone threw out cause they thought it was useless, those are my creations. When I am tired or just fried from thinking about other people's needs or activities, I end up dry.  I think being creative breeds creativity in ones self.  If you start to make something after being dormant for a while, the first one to three, kind of lack perfection because of the garbage you have to sift thru just to get to the point of familiar once again with your own abilities. Once that is out of the way, you start to gain ground and then you get in your comfort zone, that euphoria of undisturbed dedication where you forget to track your time, forget to eat, your fingers bleed or you snap at outside interruptions if they come into your consciousness.  Sounds like turning into an asshole eh…. Well, it happens.

I think some people create crap and never get better because they stop after the first or second failure in their own eyes.  Hence the never getting familiar with your own ability and improve on it.  So many people never get to the part where it starts to mesh all by itself with your own efforts, because they give up or get lazy.  I am guilty on that in a few areas.  The areas I got lucky on though… I still cling to. I feel the need coming on to hibernate and shut off the phone, shut down the computer, grab an instrument and plug in to another world that has been waiting for me for some time now.  Not quite there yet, soon I will see if I can open that door again, get past the first batch of shit and get to…. Where I need to be for a while to remember who I am.  Tune it or die.

Rate ME

http://secondrater.com/live-artists/claire-de-dirval/

If you have seen my sl show. or any show I have been in for that matter.. Common and Rate me :)
Its easy.
Washedup Sideways is there also along with may other SL artists..
Beth, TerryLynn, SonyaJevette, just to name a few...  go on.. visit and rate :)

Who Needs Words

Who Needs Words

Have you ever been listening to something only to have it go totally into mumbo jumbo land in your head? You try to absorb it, but it is no use.  It can be anything from a lecture to something important from your tax person to a good friend talking about the mediocre day they are having…. Zone Land. Zombie head, alias shit for brains.

 Yeah, you remember the subject and the facts but it is like skimming over a book that you don't feel like reading. It isn't that you don't want to pay attention and you are to some degree, but it is overload.  Words; perhaps it is just too many of them.   I don't do this often, but when it happens I am very aware of it.  Guilty as charged.  We all have done it.   

I also noticed that I never ever had that zone out problem in a specific area. No words are spoken, unless I have to use them.  Everything is done with a look or a gesture.  We underestimate on a regular basis what a single look can say without verbalizing a thing.

I'm talking about maybe learning from our pets.  They say everything and more with no words at all.  If my cat wants something… I know what it is because of his body language and routine that is never dull.  I know when my dogs are happy, or sad, they say it all with a face and an action.  No matter what, there is the I love you look that never goes away and the… lets do something look, the oh familiar.. we are hungry.. and the.. I'm tired can you touch me look.  Having that in my life is so refreshing and depended on.  You know you are missed by the face that looks at you..No overdose of complaints or whines, just…. Hi, its another day, what shall we do with it… and no words are spoken. 

I have been known to babble, talk too much, talk too loud, be opinionated etc.  all true.

That is me and I don't see it changing to drastically from that menu. I have a brain, a thought, and with that comes an opinion, if I am in a conversation yes, my opinion will come out.  The older I get, the more I damper that down. Perhaps lack of interest, or perhaps it is just not necessary for everyone to know my opinion. J  Perhaps, I'm just finding it more suitable at this time to say things with a look, or a gesture instead of flooding my life with repetitive words and opinions that everyone has heard me say already. It could stem from being a lone a lot… however.. I'm not really alone J

It is nice to have a friend that you don't have to talk to. lol.  For instance driving a long way, not saying a thing, no tension just riding with someone you know that well, that a yawn or a cough might happen but you don't have to talk a mile a minute. Just be, and be in the same space without…. Words, panic of attitude or prejudged moods. 

Written words, spoken ones all have their place and thank God we have them.  Just once in a while, it is nice to look at the other means of communication we have at our fingertips with a touch, or a smile, or a look.  Try it.  Instead of talking see how it feels to simply smile at your spouse or your kid, your neighbor. You may do it anyway, but instead of filling the air with a complaint or a bitch….. give them a "having a great day" smile, or snicker cause you feel like it.  They may think you are up to something.. they will probably ask…and you are, but you don't have to use words to tell them.J  

Tune It Or Die

Survey Says

.What makes a person worthy of your respect?:
Honesty, effort, benefit of the doubt.


.Who are at least three people (dead or living) you respect? Why do you respect them?:

Only three? well. My parents for obvious reasons. My husband. Why.... they have proven their worth and loyalty over and over again, not only to me but to others. They walk the walk and talk the talk. Need any more reasons?


.Who do you love?:
lots of things, lots of people, critters. The question is really wide open. The kind of love is something that I could be more specific on.


.What is the randomest way you have made a friend?:
hey.... I’m wearing red too.. you got good taste girl! Ok, I got a 15 minute break, tell me your story and lets change the rest of our lives from this point on, lets have that baby, let me stick my nose in, lets agree to be different and be worth the time to each other anyway from here on out. and um.... lets have a tequila rose to seal the deal. :) (you know who you are)... you still look fab in red. xx


.When was the last time you laughed non-stop?:
oh it happens from time to time. Can't get a grip and ended up in a giggle loop. It happens alot whith my friend Jilly. We waste phone calls that way. One wrong (or would it be right) word and the conversation is laughter only. Hard core laughs.. from the gut, where you start to wheeze cause you can’t get air. Happens all the time. LOL


.So, tell me a joke you’ve heard recently:
I don't really do jokes.. but there are funnythings that fit into a big picture. Ya almost gotta be there for the setup. :)

.What are three moments you kind of wish had lasted just a little bit longer?:
I have thought about this question for way too long. I thought I had three answers, but as I was about to put them down, I changed my mind on each and every one. I think that the timeing knows itself quite well, I would not have extended the special moments, it may have ruined them for what they now mean to me. Ever heard the expression "too much of a good thing".... well, I’m thinking along those thoughts. Some things just are, and better left alone.


.What do you like to do on sunny days?:
Drink slushys, lay in the sun like a fat cat, play with my critters outside.


.What do you like to do on rainy days?:
Smell the rain, light a candle, ride out the storm, hug my critters.


.What are three goals you have made for yourself that you know you will accomplish?:
Finishing my house. Play music for the rest of my life. Start my next endevor.......


.Do you sing in the shower?:
Only if I know the words.


.When will you dance?:
Never again.


.What are three of the most beautiful things you have ever seen?:
A tripple rainbow, mother nature, waking up that morning, I might not have

.What makes you smile?:
my critters, fun stuff, creativity, a song from the past or present that I love


.What’s your favorite flavor ice cream?:
Vanilla, cause you can make it into anything you want or leave it alone.


.What makes you dislike somebody?:
lies. Rudeness, selfishness, taking me for granted

.Who are three people you do not like? Why don’t you like them?:
Lets just say, I don’t really dislike anyBODY, but I do dislike many things that some people do. At any given time, anybody can be on my shitlist, but it doesn’t last long, cause once you have made it to the shit list... you are no longer in my life on an everyday basis. I could care less whether you are doing things I dislike or not, unless it involves me, however, if you are not significant to me, it won’t involve me. but I’m not going to waste my energy disliking anyone.


.What is your method of retaliation?:
Depends on the insult or injury. I would rather not say how I retaliate in case I have need to do it again. I’ts not pretty.

.Do you enjoy arguments?:
no. I like to agree to disagree. I don’t like debates, I think they are pointless and nobody who is in that state of mind is ever going to open their mind or change their mind on any given point. Discussions... where people are interested in someone elses views, don’t usualy turn into arguments. When the voices rais and ears shut... count me out.


.What are three things you do not like?:
some foods, liars, people who waste my time when I would like to choose for myself how to do that.


.What pisses you off?:
my alarm clocks, people who waste things, parents of brats, the ignorance in politics


.What is the worst thing you have ever done?:
I shall keep that thought to myself. I already have to live with it. By some peoples standards it is not even an issue, but to myself... I know.


.What are the three most recent illegal things you have done?:
They tell me it is illegal not to wear a seet belt... I call it a personal right to choose. I pulled the tags off my pillows and mattress. I went into the wrong lane after turning. that pretty much does it.


.Have you ever been accused of something?:
To not be accused is to be dead.


.Do you take pride in any immoral traits you have (ie: dishonesty, greed, etc.)?:
Pride in immorality LOL.... I will admit to being deviant in thought only, but no I am not proud of it, it is just something that fits into the catagory of how I breath or sneeze or brush my hair. Not a pride thing.


.How many times do you have to be told to follow the rules?:
Just once. ....but that doesn’t mean that I am going to follow them.


.Do you ever play by the rules?:
Depends on the game, and if there is a guidebook. I'm not really a gamer person. There is only one rule I live by that applys to getting along with rules. Treat others like you want to be treated.


.Who are three of the shadiest characters of your aquaintance? How are they so?:
LOL... oh man. Um.. there is whatshisface, and so and so, and then there is the other guy.. and um... they are reformed, sometimes slip, but for the most part they are not bad asses anymore, just have pasts with color. I am not nor will be part of anything that I don’t feel good about. If they make a bad choice.. .... oh well. I chose the sun, not shade.


.What is the strangest thing you have seen?:
Strange or perverted... both hand and hand and both .... I can not single out the strangest. There are many.


.Who are three of the most annoying people you know?:
Me, myself & I


.What is the worst thing you could imagine?:
I can imagine just about anything.. but I shall pick one so you can have a bad dream. I would not like to have to cook and eat my friends in order to survive. Anything leading up to that fact would also be horrible... I think it makes the worst list.


.What is the best thing you could imagine?:
For the world to be rid of pain and illness, sensless death and idiots. .. I believe it is called heaven.


.What goal(s) do you hope to accomplish by the end of today?:
Start and finish some projects within my ability of time so it is not waiting there for me again tomorrow and the day after.


.the end of the week?:
Clean my dog kennel from the winter deposits.


.the end of the month?:
Learn new tunage, start and finish a few things that need to be done around here, juggle my time to the best of my ability and still have some fun in the bustle of it all.

.the end of the year?:
Reconstruction of my guest bathroom, revamping of the studio, a trip to Dallas & a few other things along the way. And i hope that I can say I stuck to my excersize plan.


.What are three things that comfort you?:
Hot liquids, my fire, my critters.


.Where was the last place you were hurting? Why were you hurting there?:
My arms, I overdid it.


.Do you have a plan for yourself?:
Sure.


.What are three books that have influenced your life the most?:
The Bible, Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice, and Frank Yerby & Victoria Holt when I was a kid.


.What are three things you want to own, but don’t because you’re too lazy to get them?:
I don’t think I want anything that badly to loose my ass over it. and lazy.. does not really apply to me in an overall way.... tired as hell yeah, lazy.. no. Those days are rare.


.What are three things you want to own, but don’t because you’re too poor to buy them?:
Well, anything I have my sites on to own, I will eventualy have, just not all right now. I don’t really want anything that is out of reach. I will take a long shot and live in this moment and say..... I could use an old empty building shell, or a warehouse & a big coffee machine.


.Who are three people you want to hug?:
Adrian Paul, Willie Nelson, & the snuggles bear

.Who are three people you’d like to know better?:
Adrian, Willie & the snuggles bear.


.Where do you go when you want to be alone?:
My place. pick a room. shut the door.


.What do you think of your family? Why?:
I think some of them are insane, some are so very talented and creative, some are rather dull, some are very lovable.. I could go on and on with characteristics, there are many family members, and each one special in their own right. I am proud of many of them for having the spunk to be what they are and live the way they want... don’t look back. I admire the ones who survived the other family members. We have a cool bloodline, and you can feel it when we all get together. I am refering to cousins, aunts, uncles and ones I have not met or seen in a long time. Blood is thicker than water, even if only in emotions instead of loyalty. Why.. because most of my family is theatrical or involved in the arts in some form, it shows up naturaly. Excentric is not a dirty word.


.What are three things you have learned recently?:
As you get older, your body hurts for no reason. No matter how fast or busy you are, you are never done unill you are dead, & never pet a burning duck.


.How do you process new information?:
It works as a good start to........ open your mind.


.Do you like to learn new things?:
Now.. how am I gonna learn anything when I know everything already LOL. ahem... well, sure, IF there is something I don’t know.... please share. hahahhahahhaa


.What are three songs you can’t listen to enough?:
Got a line on you, and that is what comes to mind, but it changes many times.. not a question that I can narrow it down to three on.


.What do you think about death?:
I try not to dwell on it. It is gonna happen to us all, fact of life. I would like to think it is not the end of us, but perhaps a doorway to something better. I am not afraid of death, it just saddens me to see people and things die that I will miss. God gives us the gifts of knowing or having others... and when they die before we do... I guess it shows us our level of emotional attachment. Death will happen, I just hope not any time soon.


.Do you take risks in your life?:
I have. I know what I will not do now. Risks happen all the time, but stupid and obvious risks can be avoided.


.Give three examples of risks you have taken:
I went for a ride. I helped someone. I got up today.


.What do you want to do right now?:
finish this damn survey, drink my coffee, and check the rest of my mail. geeze.