It was a long day of cleaning out the house, dog hair, laundry, dishes, and it was my first day off in four days of putting in 54 hours a week on the clock for someone else.
This was the start of work for me and the fam. It is always interesting living in the woods, it is always rodent season. They come in the house, you learn to deal with the occasional dead mouse in a trap, and then the dead mouse in a trap smell. You go on a hunt and eventually find the smelly ones and collect them, then throw them out. When my cat Charlie had total clearance to go anywhere in the house, there were less problems in that area. However…. If you have been following my blogs, you know that he is pretty much confined to the office for his own safety at this point in life. So, there is a surplus of dead mice to throw from time to time. On this particular day, I had found one under the bathroom cabinet in the bathroom that Jilly uses. I found it, and when Roger got home, he removed it for me. All that was left was the scrub down. So, I had mouse on the brain to some degree. They guys had decided to mow the lawns so they were outside in the late afternoon. Roger on the tractor getting the big stuff and Addy taking the smaller mower and cutting in close to trees and other stuff. I was coming out of the office after checking on Charlie. I had let the three dogs he knows come in and visit him. Incidentally, they were happy to see him alive and well. He knows them well and was no longer upset or scared.
Anyway…. We all came out of the office, Me, Shasta, Sugar & Nomad. That is when I saw it. Baste in the hallway with something dead and bloody. He dropped it in front of me on the carpet. I hate those moments of blood and dead things, so I didn't look very long. I only noticed that the dead rodent of the moment did not have a head. My thoughts were immediately thinking… "Oh great, now I have a head someplace to find". I knew that I can't handle those things well, and I heard the little lawnmower stop. Addy was gonna take five and prolly come in for a coke. I yelled out to him… HEY!! Come get this dead mouse out the hallway please… I'll get you a coke, with ice even!
He came in and was ready to remove the dead mouse, but Nomad had picked it up while I was not looking and was headed back into the dinning room. He grabbed Nomad and stopped him from going any further. He grabbed the tail that was hanging out of Nomads mouth and ordered him to drop it. After a very small tug of war (after all it could get messy here), Nomad gave up and the mouse was picked up by the tail from my sweaty hero and quickly run to the door to throw out into the yard. Ahhhh.. my hero.
Relived, but still wondering where the head was. Mind you….If you don't find a head on a body, you will find it eventually. It is not pleasant. I have stepped on a few. Gotta love living in the forest.
So, I got a coke with ice for the hero. Roger came up for a drink as well. We sat there enjoying a libation on my porch, commenting how nice it looked when all mowed etc. etc. Rog had a bit left to do but Addy was headed back to his side of the yard. I went back into the house. I grabbed my laundry basket and was headed for my bedroom with it to put things away. As I reached my bedroom door… I saw it. No. It was not the mouse head. It was worse. I almost wish it were the mouse head.
I would like to take this time to digress and say, oh shit..or fuck me to tears. Just thought I would put that in there cause, that is how it felt. As some of you know, dogs have a way of finding things you think you have thrown away. They have a way of bringin them to you when you least expect it. Don't worry, this will all make sense in a second. There was toilet paper on my bedroom floor. It lead a trail to my bathroom garbage. Baste had been in there. Now normally I would not have had that fuck me to tears panic button go off… but to my dismay, the next few thoughts covered embarrassment to total laughter. Baste had caught something alright. A tampon from my garbage can. Because of my lack of examination, it looked like a dead mouse with a tail. The hero thought the same, cause he never questioned it either. Turns out that I was rescued from my own tampon by my trusty friend and neighbor. Ya know… You gotta admit that it is above and beyond the call of duty. I was not going to tell him. I thought.. damn.. better that he doesn't know. It is just toooooo weird. I did go out to the yard and find the damn thing. I drug it back in the house. While I was doing that, Roger spotted me, and I had to explain to him just WHY I was bringing the dead bloody mouse back into the house….. it just got more and more silly from there. I did end up telling the hero what happened. He simply said… "Fantastic" in a very dull dry tone. I think the word "greeeeaaaat" was in there too. He even signed my anniversary card as Tampon Man…. So um.. I think he sees the humor here. Jilly died laughing. She recovered, but all of her body hurts from laughing for a half hour straight. My mother who was here….. laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. Roger.. was just laughing off and on all day cause of it. So.. as it appears to be very humorous, I opted to tell the world. This is a true story. I hope you enjoyed it.
I now have a lid for my garbage can. I also promise to examine dead bloody things with tails and no heads more carefully before I yell for help. I would like to add. NO this does not make him my blood brother!!! LOL…Ahem..
No comments:
Post a Comment