Control & Change

     The older I get the more I can relate to a line that George Harrison wrote in a song. "The farther one travels, the less one knows". With a bit of a twist, that applys to everything. The more you grow the more you realize that you know nothing. There are too many things to absorb in this life and we are masters of none. As a self admitted semi control freak, there are things that I have to let slide. Some people say that change is good. I say SOME change is good. It is not a blanket statement. Not all change is wanted. Not all lables are acurate.
I may not be in control of what I have to do on a daily basis... but I am in control of how I do it. If it is not working, change it. If you can't change what you have to do, then change how you do it.
I think everyone is a bit of a control freak, if you think you are not, you are not being true to yourself. Everyone likes to make their own choices. That is the reason I got the lable,... how bout you? Because I am not shy, because I have an opinion about most everything and usualy voice it... to some that means control freak. I think it means sticking up for oneself and ones morals and ideals to the effect of not letting things walk all over you.
If someone thinks that they just got away with something where I am concerned... rest assured it is not exactly that cut and dried. I am more than aware of any situation. I analize things to death. How could I not be "aware" of things then I think of everything from at least four angles lol.
Someone labled me a passive agressive person... hmmmm. Nice politicaly correct term... however just another lable. Enabler is another one that was tacked on... well. Just cause you say it four times does not make it so!
If I am aware of someone with a problem and I can make a difference, that does not always mean enabler to me. It means I care enough to offer a choice if I can. I may care more about the person than the problem at hand. I pick and choose the problems I offer assistance to.... to blanket it is wrong, I pick my battles and I also stand back on more issues than you might witness.
I can not change anybody, they have to learn on their own. Just because I may think I know how to fix things or know a way to avoid some future problem, does not mean it is going to work for anyone else. They have to make their own mistakes. If I can offer a light in the dark.. I will. Doesn't mean I am in control of their mistakes or their problem.... it is not my problem. I know the difference.
I never want to get to the point in life where I feel I have been burned by people so many times that I get jaded, hard, and assume the worst in all things. I am in control of my kindness and selective where it gets put. Don't confuse my silence in a situation with passive. It means I care more about the person and the feelings of the moment, more than I care about the issues at hand. I am spareing you a lecture that I have in my head or don't think you would understand it nor could I deliver it without offending. Contrary to what you may think, I don't have to drive my point home, it is important to me.. probably not the other person, their mind is too crowded already at that point.
We are all in control of what we think. We can change for the better or for the worse. I am sure we all do a bit of both, better or worse.
When your life changes, I hope it never changes to the point where you loose your ability to see humor and laugh...
When you loose control, remember that you and only you, are in control of changeing yourself.
You can't control your friends, your job, your family, your remote (if you have a husband)....the good new is, the list of what you can't control is shorter than the list that you can control on a personal level.