I don't believe that just because you are married you have to close your eyes and dwell on only one person. I'm not talking swinging, or anything like that. I am talking about personal opinion and attractions. I have always said… I'm married, not dead.
The day you cannot voice or notice another creature that you are visually drawn to, you might as well put the first shovel of dirt on. I wrote it in a song a long time ago…. Being married and looking at the opposite sex is like walking by a bakery… you can smell the aroma, you can look in the window, you can dream… but you don't have to go in and buy a cream filled long John. Just be happy with the view, the smell. And go home and take a bite out of your own Danish… Just thank God you are alive and able to still smell the aroma of your own free will. You don't have to abuse it. Appreciation is not obsession or abuse… it is simply something you are attracted to. In its place, it is just fine. So with that all out of the way you can go back to thinking I'm a deviant old lady. I have morals after all…. They are low, but I have them. lol.
I think the sexiest thing when looking upon a male is the arms. I'm drawn to them. Always have been. I'm not talking major body building here, just toned arms for the physique of the individual. Small or large, a toned arm does it every time. I also find that laid back is an attraction. Not to be confused with lazy. I can't stand lazy. I do however like a mellow man who does not get bent out of shape over the little things in life. ( I happen to have gotten lucky and found one like that). A smile is important to me as well, but I find that it does not have to be done with lips and teeth. A man who can smile with his eyes is very very attractive, the lips just follow suit after that. The ability to flirt and confidence is also good. The knowledge when to stop is also very much a turn on.
I am drawn to the bad boy.. I think every female is to some degree. But that is also short lived with me. There are short term attractions and long term ones. The short term ones are found in the bakery of life.. the long term takes you back to that eyes smile thing. I don't limit myself to just oggeling people in my age bracket. If I'm gonna oggal, I'm gonna open the audition to all. I have some very "thick" people that I find attractive along with a few "toothpicks" with feet that have surprisingly gotten my lustful appreciation over time. I have always been drawn to dark haired men. Height, not so important, after all I'm only viewing. There are a few things I would take into consideration if I were shopping for a companion that turned me on, but like I said, I'm just enjoying the view.
I don't mean to sound picky, but the older I get the less there
I have broadened my preferences over the years. When I was younger I had an image and would look for people that fit the mould. Now… I have learned to look for what is attractive in the individual persons. Much more of a challenge but more realistic than the romance book cover guy that you will never find. I did find someone long ago that is still very much in my life. He fit the bill for the romance cover…, he has arms that still turn me on after 30 years, he has dark hair.. or had I should say, had, it is black & white now, he does not allow bullshit in his life, which in turn keeps it out of mine. He did not get fat, he did not get lazy. As a matter of fact, I can't keep up with the man, his to do list is gonna take years to get done and it is not because he puts it off, it is cause it is THAT long. Even with finding him, I did not die when I said I do. He is not offended when I appreciate someone. I can voice it if I like. He is not threatened or offended if I tell him. It is not like I throw it out there all the time and tell him every time someone catches my eye either. But if I feel like saying WOW.. now that guy is nice looking. He would understand the statement without thinking it was a slam against him in any way, simply appriciation for the view. (btw, a spouse constantly doing that would be concidered a shithead in my book & that is not what this is about).
There is something wrong in a relationship that would limit you to keep your own opinion about something as simple as looking at someone of the opposite sex to yourself or suffer the consequences. Being secure in a relationship is a major turn on. Not taking it for granted, but knowing that you can speak your mind without an argument, just knowledge of the facts or preference. Honesty is a turn on. Having someone really KNOW you and getting it right, is a turn on. Getting to know someone and paying attention is a turn on. You can tell when someone is really "into you". They take the time and don't blow things off. That is a turn on and it is different than obsession.
Protection is a turn on. No forced or staged, but when someone goes out on a limb to protect you when it is needed. I can go on and on here, there are so many things we are all given to look for in another for appreciation. Don't sweat the small stuff unless you are looking at long term. If you are just looking and not planning on buying the donut.. then it doesn't matter if he snores, or picks his teeth, cause you are just looking at his arms and his charm. You don't have to wash his socks! Now… beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I prefer someone that I can leave the lights on with, and if they screw up really bad, it is nice to be able to look at em on the pillow next to you and NOT want to throw them out of bed. So…. What do you appreciate? What turns you on about physical attractions on other people? Open your mind, talk like you are not married, talk like you are, it is your opinion I'm not asking a couples, just individuals with a preference.
Have a great day, I'm gonna hang out by the bakery.
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