I guess I was reminded of something by one of those triggered thoughts. Bar life and the characters that frequent the places. Being on stage we are somewhat removed from the strangeness and just get to witness most of it. Sometimes we are the cause, or the target, but mostly we are there to point it out, laugh about it or handle it with kid gloves. Some of the people over the years were just unreal. I am not going to use names here, I probably don't even know the real names, just the nicknames we gave them.
Wayne and I were laughing so hard over one strange person. It was not so much what she was doing, but what she represented. The really strange ones used to center around Wayne, he was like a magnet to these types. This particular woman was out for a night on the town. It was about 11:30 pm, prime time for dancing and drinking on a Friday night. One would think that you are trying to look your best and since you were OUT ON THE TOWN… you were at your best or close to it…This woman had to be in her fifties I think, not sure on the age, but defiantly over 21. Well, this woman was dressed ok and all, if you think a housecoat is fashionable. She had on shoes, but we thought that slippers would have gone better with the ensemble. The clothes here are not the real issue. It is the fact that she had curlers in her hair. Her entire head was still in curlers while she was out dancing on the dance floor. Now, just where you gonna go after 11:30 at night that you have to get ready AFTER a night on the town????? We found that after playing this club a few more times, that she was indeed a regular. This was her look. After a while Wayne and I started envisioning a fake bird in the top of her hairdo, cause it resembled a nest to us and at least there would have been some purpose to it all.
We have all had nights where we play to the rafter brothers…. Not a person in the place but the band and the bartenders and one old hippy who keeps yelling for Neil Young or Emerson Lake and Palmer. You play the songs, he keeps yelling for them. Nuff said.
There was one of those people who was a bit more social. He came up in front of the bandstand and stood in front of Wayne forever. He happened to be mesmerized by Wayne's guitar work He seemed harmless enough and it gave Wayne something to play for. He played air guitar in return for the sounds Wayne was pumping out. He liked the little stuffed monkey that Wayne had hanging from his mic stand. He looked like he was dancein with it. This went on for about two sets. Lone drunk dancing in front of the guitar player. I would like to interject here that he had some moves like no other. He incorporated ballet with break dancing and some clogging, not to mention the one person line dance moves with the gymnastic feel to most of it, with the added head banging. It was worth playing for. At the beginning of the third set, we thought we would have another dance exhibit, but it was very short lived. The cops showed up, took him by the shoulders and escorted him out of the bar. As Wayne was singing to his one and only fan of the evening… the cops drug him off. As he was leaving, he was still dancein and singing loudly along with us right up till the bitter end where then he resisted arrest outside of the bar.
We have also had those moments where women in the audience start to feel sexy and flash people. This happened lots, cause we would actually encourage um….. lets say innocent exabitionism. There were some beautiful women that would come up and flash the guys in the band. Sometimes they would dance and a circle would be formed around them just in case the rules were strict in the bars, they would do their turn at flashing and then someone else would take the circle. You get the idea. One particular time stands out to me where this very thing happened. I will call her F. Yes, it is the first initial of her name. She was drunk out of her mind, which was a usual state. She saw some women doing this very thing in a circle. I guess F started to feel sexy and frisky and wanted to play. Now…. Normally this mood takes over and it is all play full and everyone knows the limit, drunk or not. I would like to describe some of F's attributes here, (it is going to be necessary to get the point across). F had to be about 40, her two front teeth were missing, she was a bar fly, she had a pot belly, she at one time had probably beautiful breasticles, however time and gravity and perhaps five or six pregnancies did her breasticles no favors, she also had a rather unpleasant droning laugh, sort of like a loud bland AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH hhaha AAAAAAAAAAAhahahha .) So anyway, she was on the dance floor, whipped her shirt off and and….. At this point it was difficult to continue playing. The circle that normally surrounds the woman… had turned their backs to her, oh yeah; there was a circle, but the wrong way lol. Her breasticles had spillage from a drink earlier and had stuck to her belly, one broke loose and tried to flop a bit, and the other was stuck like glue…. Did I mention that this person had no rhythm????? It is also important to the visual you may now be having. She was smiling her toothless grin with the loud laugh, one breast swinging in the breeze, making very stiff jirating movements on the floor full of people that were trying to move away FAST.
We ended the song sooner than we should have, just to stop the madness. Switched gears cause it is difficult to dance nasty to Wind Beneath My Wings. LOL HAHAHHAHA ha.
Man, that is enough for now. I don't want to be stuck in memory lane all day today.
I'm sure one day I will be one of "those" people for someone else, if I am not already lol.
I can hardly wait
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