EADGBE
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Heart Mind & Soul
Home. That has been my address now for over 30 years. I know I’m there when I feel 6 cold strings that have been warmed by my hands. Its just on top of a sound hole and just a little south of a mountain of tuning pegs. You can get there from here, no matter where you go. I found myself the moment I realized that this was a missing part of me. Be it the six strings, four or twelve, be it the black and white, or the old keypads from a nickel woodwind, it has been my haven. I’m there when I’m happy; I’m there when I’m depressed. It can change my mood like the drop of a hat. Without it, I am missing something. I realize that now more than ever. It is an instinct that I was lucky enough to stumble on. It’s my high, my low, and my best friend. It will never leave me; it is with me like my last breath until I die.
I come from a long line of entertainers, musicians and bards. It is in the blood. One form or another, it is there just as sure as it runs thru my veins. Some of the line didn’t find they’re calling exactly, and were always restless and sometimes turned to other things as a lost child who cannot find their way home. Their talents stifled and limited to things that other choices lead them to. I am lucky enough to know where mine is. Dumb luck, maybe, destiny absolutely. It is the one thing in my life that no body can take now that I have it. It’s mine, I can share it, but nobody can take it away unless I do it myself.
People come and people go, and I will forever have indentations on the calluses of my left hand. I have never been nor will I ever be bored.
They say that home is where the heart is. Home is where you feel safe. Where love lives, where you know you belong. The best music comes from the heart; a haven of sound, where you know the song fits you. Delivery and sharing knows no bounds here.
When music touches you, it means you are open to it. When music touches you, it means you allowed it in, and for a brief few moments in your life, you let it have control and make you feel something other than where your thoughts were before you heard it.
It is a harmless way to touch someone inside and out. Or you need not touch anyone at all. Just play.
I didn’t play for a while. Almost 3 years. Dust settled on my guitars. They sat there looking at me with their strings all loose… just waiting. I was busy trying to be “normal” just to see if I could do it. I did it, to the best of my ability. Successfully? Lol who knows, but then again who cares! Not me. Not anymore. That was a very needed break and at the same time it is a double-edged sword. I was taking enough breaths to stay alive, but not really breathing, not really living. I noticed blandness to my thoughts, my actions, and my creative juices…. So to speak. A life of oatmeal. Not what I ever wanted. Did I see myself living in oatmeal five years from then?. noooooo.
I have changed with the times. I’m playing again. I can breath again. No dust, no loose steel. Things change, but the address is the same. I’m home. Not trying to be anyone’s accomplished musician, or someone’s super star, (never did actually), but it is for me now. Not the drinkers, the dancers, the amateur pukers that make it out for the holidays. J It is for me.
This time, I am not going to put anything above it. Give it the respect and acknowledgment that it deserves. It will never move away from me, it will never be mean to me, it will never hurt me. It never has. It is there when I need it and when I don’t. How did I ever forget that for three years….. Thank God it was only three years. I know how it got that way. Not enough time or energy to do it when you have things that you have obligated yourself to do. Burnout from too many years, and having the world change around you. Oh… J I can live without it. But why would I want to. Why should I have to, and who wants to live an oatmeal existence.
Life will change again, this I am sure of. However this time I know where MY home is. Not where I live, but what makes me live. I share my home with many, and I share my thoughts with you….
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